PETA Gives "Shark Tale" Two Fins Up!!!

Ahh, it's been awhile since I've been able to post. My journey around the world hunting endangered species really took it's toll on me, anyway, back to the important news. My good friends at PETA are really starting to focus on important issues, like reviewing children's movies. They recently reviewed Dreamworks Shark Tale, and PETA had nothing but praise for it.

"The sea underworld is shaken up when the son of the shark mob boss is found dead and a young fish named Oscar is found at the scene. Being a bottom feeder, Oscar takes advantage of the situation and makes himself look like he killed the finned mobster. Oscar soon comes to realize that his claim may have serious consequences". This is what the movie is based on. Oscar tries to make himself look like a star. The brother of the shark that was killed is named Lenny, and he runs away from his family to help Oscar. Now, Lenny is a vegetarian shark. Yes, a vegetarian shark, just like Mother Nature intended. So here's the rundown, Lenny wants his family to accept him as he is, and Oscar eventually finds out that he can be happy without fame. But yet, PETA spins this as a vegetarian story.

"In less than two hours, Lenny convinces his family and everyone who watches Shark Tale that fish are friends, not food."Ahhh, good job PETA. I thought the writers aimed more at Lenny's father eventually accepting him for who he is. Like a father accepting a gay child. That's what this story is about. Actually, I would argue that 75% of vegetarians ARE gay, so maybe I'm wrong in this.....but either way, the impression I come out with is this....You don't need fame to find happiness and true love (from Oscar), and you should accept people for who they are (from Lenny and his father). But yeah, your right, after I saw this I didn't go out to Wendy's for some chicken nuggets. Nope. I had the salad instead.

But that's not all, PETA is hoping to reach the children through Lenny. "PETA hopes that Lenny will inspire a generation of children to follow his vegetarian example by keeping fish off their plates—and in the ocean where they belong"...Um.....yeah, Lenny is a good role model. His brother is killed, and he runs away to join the enemy. He then FAKES his own death, comes back and disguises himself as a dolphin. Yeah, I hope kids follow that vegetarian example.I hope one day I have 2 sons...1 a bad mother fucker, and 1 a gay vegetarian. Then, I hope the bad mother fucker (a.k.a. the good son) dies, and the gay vegetarian (a.k.a. the disowned son) takes off. After that, I hope I see him get "killed" on national tv, so now I'm totally devastated. I have 2 dead sons. But after all that, after all I've been through, I still hope the disowned son comes back, dressed in womens clothing. Yes, what a great example for all children.

Then here comes the best part of the so called review...."Although Dreamworks’ new blockbuster has a vegetarian shark as a leading character, the movie isn’t filled with as much fantasy as you might think" I love the irony in this statement, "vegetarian shark as a leading character" and "isn't filled with as much fantasy as you might think". Wow. That is so true, 'cuz you see a lot of vegetarian sharks. All those "scientific studies" about sharks being attracted to blood are fake. Look PETA, these are the same sharks that eat you sorry non-meating asses when you try to save them in the ocean! Here's some more irony. Jack Black provides the voice of Lenny, and they praise him for his pro-vegan message. But here's the good part....When Jack Black's character booted the dog over the bridge in Anchorman, they got very upset. So, on one hand, he's a good vegatarian role model...and on the other, he's a cold-blooded dog murderer. Isn't that ironic.....don't ya think?

So all in all, PETA gives this two fins up.......and I'll give them one finger up.