PETA Gone Wild Part 1

Well summer is upon us and that means the ideas just keep flooding into PETA. PETA has decided to launch a campaign entitled “PETA’s Wildest Summer”, or as I like to call it “We Are Losing Support So We Decided To Bust Out The Skanks”.

PETA’s first video installment is simply titled “Tofu Wrestling”. In this video, PETA decides to show off their classy side but portraying a female PETA representative and a former Playboy model duking it out in Tofu. Ahhh, that's just how Gandhi lead his protests!

Tofu Wrestling


As the skanks fight, PETA decides to put little breaks in the action via Tofu facts, hoping that these facts strewn in with the images of two half-naked whores fighting in a bucket of Tofu will win over the males….I’m sad to report that we probably did lose a few. But they were the fat kids who dress up as Star Wars characters anyways.

Tofu Fact #1: “Tofu doesn’t cause impotence like artery clogging meat does”. WHOA PETA, tone it down. That shot was waaaay below the belt. In a way, they are right…LITERALLY Tofu doesn’t’ cause impotence, but c'mon,we all know it does. I mean, if you’re on a date with some chick, and you order up the slice of Tofu at the restaurant……you may as well have ordered the "impotence causing, artery clogging meat", ‘cuz your going to be leading that same sex life. At least the guy who eats meat gets good food.

Tofu Fact #2: “Tofu contains multiple cancer fighting agents”

Yeah. So does sunscreen.

Tofu Fact #3: “Eating Tofu is much sexier than eating the corpse of a dead cow”. Well yeah, but it’s not sexier than eating the corpse of a dead kitten! Those things are cute. Seriously, if I own a restaurant, and I have enough money to buy a commercial, I’m going to want to showcase my best food. So what am I gonna throw out there? The big block of Tofu, or the sizzling T-Bone hot off the grill?

Once again PETA showcases off their editing skills, as they cut straight from the floozies to showing the plight of animals raised for slaughter. Good job PETA….by doing that you caught your tens of supporters “that can’t get a real chick, let alone watch real porn, so they have to settle for you wild summer videos” in mid-whack! By doing that, you actually caused them impotence!

You also forgot Tofu Fact #4: “GIRLS WHO FIGHT IN TOFU ARE SKANKS” C’mon PETA, eating meat is wrong, but demeaning yourself on the internet by wrestling in Tofu isn’t? Once you play the sex card, you look desperate for support, and you lose validity in your arguments. You should be smarter than that PETA.